Still Not Giving a Fuck

orbitars:

“Mom, would you still love me if I was straight?”

“Of course not Tony Steve Kurt Blaine Sherlock Watson Destiel Merthur Hummel Stark, now be a good boy and finish piercing your ear so we can go shopping.”

anyways, I have a boner for some reason so I’ll be right back I guess

some guy posted a fb status saying he had just puked sober for the first time since 3rd grade and I was gonna judge him until I realized that I also haven’t puked sober since 3rd grade so now I have to reevaluate my life and stuff

sending someone a picture of your flaccid penis is like trying to sell a house by showing a picture of the supplies you’re going to use to build the house, it’s not a good representation of what you’re selling 

there’s literally nothing sexy about a flaccid penis except for the potential for it to be erect

just so everybody’s clear nobody did that to me, I just was wondering why someone would because people definitely do that as part of “sexting”

why would you send somebody a picture of your flaccid penis

my dog literally just threw up in his mouth when I asked him to come hang out with me

I’ll just lie and say I applied to petsmart and petco today and I put a couple of my bags into my closet so that counts as cleaning my room

edgur:

curiously enough when i wanted to eat soup after downloading missing e all i could find in the cupboard was canes